so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize