I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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