Ambien. No doubt about it.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize