Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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