remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
