Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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