I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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