This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
