sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
