So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize