Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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