Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
