I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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