i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
