chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
