what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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