he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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