Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Is it penis luge time yet?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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