Grow some girl-balls and come out already
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
