The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
