That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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