I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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