she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
