A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize