So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
