we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
