I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
