Define "chronic" masturbator.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
