The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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