what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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