So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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