Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
