that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
