next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
