She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Randomize
