clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
