Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
