Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
