Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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