why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize