Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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