I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
