it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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