Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
