Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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