where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
