Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It's never too late to be topless.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
