im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
