How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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