the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize