apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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