U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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