Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
