It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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