Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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