I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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