im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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