I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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