she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
