I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
