If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did you pee in the oven last night??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize