I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize