Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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