oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
