We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
