lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
