All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
