This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
