can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
