ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
