why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
