you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
