I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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