I love black thongs
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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