Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
