i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Boobs are out for the taking
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
