I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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