I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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