**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
