If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she told me i tasted like america
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
