I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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